I've been dreaming lately

and I wish it would stop. The main characters in my dreams have been three young men that I have at one point or another lusted over, loved , or something. This has been going on for the past three nights and I'm going to give a quick recap of my suenos.

The first dream the boy died...I was distraught. I'm sure I would be in real life too. He's so young. I spent the whole dream trying to seem non-chalant about his death when I knew I cared so much. In real life I've known him forever. Honestly forever I don't know when I met him, I guess I was 3 or 4 who knows. But anyway I saw him a few weeks ago and didn't recognize him and I wasn't too happy about him calling out my whole name in public. But I was so mad at myself afterwards for not staying and talking to him longer. I was hungry and McDonald's was right up the street. I don't live anywhere near him anymore and I have no idea what he is doing with his life. I hope its productive but honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing something crazy.

The second dream was with a boy I haven't talked to in 2 to 3 years. We were standing in front of the post office in my hometown having a long convo. I've been ebaying lately so I know where the post office comes from. I also think he posted some pics on facebook a week ago and I thought OMG I haven't talked to him in forever , he's alive that's good. He's doing good things with his life! But there are some deep issues that he has that I wouldn't dare say. I know I can't handle them...I'm not one of those girls.

The last dream was last night. This dream ...whew...that is all I say about it. I don't know where the part about Kourtney Kardashian and Mongolian men being hit with hammers and drowned by my cousins estranged father has anything to do with the relationship between him and I but I guess it's complicated. This dream sure enough was. All I know is at the end of the dream we decided to be together forever. This is highly unlikely in real life considering we don't speak. I know that as much as he had terrible parts to his persona maybe he's changed. I again doubt it based on what I do know about him. I have always seen us, in my mind, together forever. I think at one point he felt the same way. It's not going to happen and at 20 I shouldn't want to be with someone forever already. I need to let it go clearly and my conscious mind has but my subconscious has not.

Its millions more boys I could dream about, not tonight please!