Change

What a difference a year makes. A friend and I were discussing this topic a while back and I really wanted to expand on my personal change within the last year. October of 2007 was a difficult time in my life. I had just gotten settled into college but was still trying to hang on to remants of my friends from high school. We were all doing the same thing but all knowing that these friendships wouldnt last past the thanksgiving holidays. They didn't I still have my two best friends from home but thats about it. We all understand that while we are at different Universities that we cannot possibly be in on every aspect of each others lives, but when anything big happens they know that we all must tell each other. They are the first people i go find once I get home and if we have made it this far out of high school I'm pretty sure they will be some of my closest friends (god willing) for the rest of my life. Now on to the rest of folk....i dunno. I feel so incredibly fake over the schol breaks trying to fall back in to temporary friendships or fakeships as i call them with these folk. They are just looking for someone to hang out with for the meantime, but thats not what i'm tryna do. Either you are my friend or you are nobody. It's not everybody i'm mad at now if we were casual friends in high school then us just being casual friends now is cool, but if we were very close and i talked to you everyday and I know your whole life story and your mamas name and your dogs name and all of these random miscellaneous facts about you, then why must you pretend that we was just"cool" No we were not just cool you were my bestest best friend and you know that. I never said that to you but everybody knows I'm terribly bad with emotions. It was mutual and now all that friendshipiness effort is going down the drain. This can be salvaged but I don't want to! I know who has my back even when I do fall off and act sadity. It happens and some people stuck with me and I appreciate you all so much. But some other folk forgot where they came from (insert name here), and other fol forgot that I was the only one who stuck up for you when you was acting a fool (insert name here). It's cool. I wish I had known before though but I was too young to know :( I'm glad everything seems peachy in your facebook pics. I'm sad though deep down inside. Friendships are really hard and I don't have really any of the same friends from a year ago. I love my friends that stuck with me. And to all y'all that fell off won't be no nonsense and tomfoolery when I blow the fuck up one of these days. I know I will but you didn't so don't come asking me for no money or now you just wanna hang. And I will be sure to reference this blog when it comes to that!
WHew Feels Good to get that out.