Part One of CAU Adventures

Can I grocery shop

Why is it so damn hard to shop freely? I live in the hood still and I’m sure that’s part of the problem. I love my hood folk but goodness gracious ya’ll need a class in Grocery Shopping Etiquette. The syllabus goes as follows:
1. Your whole family does not need to come with you. If your baby daddy is around have him stay with the kids even if they all are not his.
2. Baskets should be driven like cars, they can do just as much damage. DO not leave your purse unattended. I will be tempted to rummage through it. I am also famous for taking your basket if it is in my way and move it to a completely different aisle. I have done this before. I am not playing.
3. Old Men. Stay away from me and my friends. And if you feel you need to ask are you in high school then it is a major problem. Save your words for a worthy candidate. She’s the one in the Similac aisle with 3 babies holding on to her and she’s either in her house shoes or a shower cap, you choose.
4. Checkout. Don’t act like you did not know you had to pay. Get your money, food stamps, credit out while you are idly waiting. Lets not put your stuff all up on mine either. I don’t need your Pork Shoulder all up on my bananas.
5. Old Folk. You do not get a free pass. I do not have to move for you. Please!